Learning Moments...and my thoughts about them!
Between the ages of, O, 2 and 17, I always remember having these "learning moments", moments when I did something (or someone else did) something so entirely stupid I was embarrassed (and sometimes I would feel sick to my stomach about it). It would affect me so much I would abhor the thought of doing it again! For instance, I can remember the time when it dawned on me that I was being RUDE to Joe St. Angelo when I was younger...and I was 'enlightened' in a sheer moment of embarrassment (within which I felt sick enough to throw up, I am not sure why that would happen), then I would try my hardest NEVER to be that way again! Another time I remember I accidentally hit somebody with my coat when I was putting it on, and this other person made such a big deal out of it that everyone in the room heard and some people came over to see what happened...and I think it did hurt this person, but I always remember thinking that I would do anything I could to ignore the pain someone else had accidentally inflicted upon me! I know I don't learn from these moments I've had perfectly...but I do learn!
However, I realized something, and it has been 're'dawning on me every so often...
I don't feel like I've been having those 'learning moments' as often anymore! And I WISH I DID! I don't feel like I'm...'growing up' anymore! AND I MISS IT! Cause I KNOW...I know for SURE, that there are SO many things in life I need to learn...and I want it to be CLEAR to myself...cause without those learning moments where I felt struck on the head and my eyes all the sudden saw a bigger piece of the picture, I forget that I need to learn something, or at least forget the necessity of it!
I'm trying to 'train' myself now to be open to those possible learning moments! I want to grow, I want to be ever learning, and always growing in the grace of God! In His strength, wisdom and knowledge! I want to be well learned in Love! Well prepared for anything God would have me do! A strong and able prayer warrior!
God continue teaching me
and PLEASE...please God,
open my heart to your lessons!
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