Saturday, July 31, 2010

This song equals me.

If weakness is a wound that no one wants to speak of
The "cool" is just how far we have to fall
And I'm not immune, I only want to be loved
But I feel safe behind the firewall

Can I lose my need to impress?
If you want the truth I need to confess

I'm not alright, I'm broken inside, broken inside
And all I go through, it leads me to You, it leads me to you

Burn away the pride
Bring me to my weakness
Until everything I hide behind is gone
And when I'm open wide with nothing left to cling to
Only You are there to lead me on.

'Cause honestly, I'm not that strong.

I'm not alright, I'm broken inside
Broken inside
And all I go through, it leads me to You
It leads me to You
Closer to You

And I'll move,
and I'll move,
and I'll move,
Closer to You (x3)

I'm not alright I'm broken inside
Broken inside
I'm broken inside, Broken inside
And all I go through leads me to You
Leads me to You

I'm not alright, I'm not alright
I'm not alright

... that's why I need You.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

My life in a nutshell:

Watching the kids since mum and Gideon are off in Baltimore.
(a) Gideon is doing very well! He has a blog up for those who want to check it out!
(b) Gabriel and DJ are doing pretty well, I mean they're little boys, so ya know! They can be a little crazy, even though they like to get cuddly with me so that they can watch a movie ;). Lol, actually that's not true, all I have to do is ask and they pretty much cuddle with me no matter what.
(c) Neeki has been top shelf! She's been great at watching the kids, helping cleaning, cooking and laundry! Huge props to her awesomeness!

I've also been working at the o'l HCUP
(a) I have almost ever saturday off until September!!! I have no idea how Ary did that but I totally love her for it!
(b) Espresso has been coming out amazingly the last few days.
(c) I'm pretty sure that if I have another creepy dream with Andy beating up people I'll have to beat him up.
(d) Ary is headed off on a missions trip to Prague for 10ish days! I'm so excited for her and praying that God uses that time for some really amazing growing!
(e) organic milk steams better than all other milk.

The boyfriend
(a) Josh is amazing. I'm not trying to be sappy, I'm saying this straightup. I can be a straight up B*@# to him and he's still there, loving me, being stern, telling me that I need to grow (he's learning that the only way I really listen is if he tells me I hurt him, otherwise I push it aside pretty easily), but he's still loving me everystep. He's my bestfriend with a couple of extra plus's ;). Like he can cuddle with me and watch amovie, and he can get me water and a blanket, or when I'm sick he makes sure I'm ok. He helps me with my relationship with God more than anyone! He's helping me more and more everyday to love God, and begin to really start loving other people too. And helping me to learn how to trust.
(b) he still needs to get abs ;). hahahaha just for you josh!

Extra Stuff
(a) Gardening
(b) Pickling Cucumbers. It's my first time doing anything like this before! It's going well so far minus the fact I ran out of vinegar lol.
(c) Painted some again
(d) hopefully going to do a photoshoot with Molly soon! <3 <3
(e) tomorrow I hang out with Jess before she finally gets to go to her hubby and start her new life! <3 <3

(a) Muse
(b) Rise Again
(c) Anberlin
(d) Paramore some
(e) Radiohead!
(f) Metric
(g) Staind
(h) a bunch of other random stuff. Mostly Muse right now. :) :)

ok. that's all!
I'm out
~Delian Jayce

PS Jim (the guy who is going to be putting together my modeling portfolio) is planning on coming to 'shoot' me soon! As soon as he gets senior pictures out of the way! I'm so excited, and really nervous! But It'll be great!!!

Friday, July 16, 2010

Dear World and its inhabitants,

Today I come forward with several questions (stop)

I ask, first, how do I survive? And not only just survive, but how do I thrive in this life?

Second, how do I stay balanced when everything is so toppy swervy?

And lastly, how do I help and love you? I want to, everyday, every second, but, I need to be able to act on those desires, but often I get stuck, how do I move forward and show that I care for you? Even if you don't care that I do?

~Delian Jayce