Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Learning Moments...and my thoughts about them!

Between the ages of, O, 2 and 17, I always remember having these "learning moments", moments when I did something (or someone else did) something so entirely stupid I was embarrassed (and sometimes I would feel sick to my stomach about it). It would affect me so much I would abhor the thought of doing it again! For instance, I can remember the time when it dawned on me that I was being RUDE to Joe St. Angelo when I was younger...and I was 'enlightened' in a sheer moment of embarrassment (within which I felt sick enough to throw up, I am not sure why that would happen), then I would try my hardest NEVER to be that way again! Another time I remember I accidentally hit somebody with my coat when I was putting it on, and this other person made such a big deal out of it that everyone in the room heard and some people came over to see what happened...and I think it did hurt this person, but I always remember thinking that I would do anything I could to ignore the pain someone else had accidentally inflicted upon me! I know I don't learn from these moments I've had perfectly...but I do learn!

However, I realized something, and it has been 're'dawning on me every so often...
I don't feel like I've been having those 'learning moments' as often anymore! And I WISH I DID! I don't feel like I'm...'growing up' anymore! AND I MISS IT! Cause I KNOW...I know for SURE, that there are SO many things in life I need to learn...and I want it to be CLEAR to myself...cause without those learning moments where I felt struck on the head and my eyes all the sudden saw a bigger piece of the picture, I forget that I need to learn something, or at least forget the necessity of it!

I'm trying to 'train' myself now to be open to those possible learning moments! I want to grow, I want to be ever learning, and always growing in the grace of God! In His strength, wisdom and knowledge! I want to be well learned in Love! Well prepared for anything God would have me do! A strong and able prayer warrior!

God continue teaching me
and PLEASE...please God,
open my heart to your lessons!


Andrew said...

Yeah. For me "growing up" seems like something that happens so slowly I can't ever even tell, but then when I look back I'm like "oh yeah".

The thing is, it happens so slowly that I'm always discouraged when I think about how long it will probably take to change in ways that I would like to change.

But then, I think part of growing up too is realizing that in a lot of ways, the grown-ups may have never had it as together as we thought they did.

Anonymous said...

I resent that Drew! About the grown ups not having it all together. But then again, I hardly ever really feel like a grown up.

Learning moments. I feel like I have them all the time, still... yet I have a sickening feeling that I don't learn what others around me wished I was learning.

And another very sickening thing is that it seems like I need to learn the same things too many times to actually change.

Although the learning process is partly discouraging, I am immensely thankful for it and that God doesn't leave me in the same place but is faithful to keep me going forward - even if my forward motion is sporadic and choppy.

Just like Bob, I try to keep going forward even if I have to take "baby steps"

mattea k said...

O good! So I'm not the only one who has memories of stupid things I wish I could forget and never want to do again! :p

Halifirien Pilgrim said...

Wow, the post and comments really hit what I've had rolling around in the back of my head lately. It's quite encouraging, like Mattea said, to know I'm not the only one thinking about this topic.

Only recently have I realized how difficult it is to be a Christian parent. It seemed so easy for them when I was little. They knew everything there was to know about the world and God, and one day I would too. But now that I get to see more of what goes on "behind the scenes" (in their relationship with God), I better understand that this life is a pilgrimage that doesn't end until we're with Him. We're always learning and growing, and I need to remember that.

damaris said...

heeey dell. haven't been here in a long time!
yup. well. i never had the humility to think of them as learning moments. but i recall exactly what you're talking about...def happened alot more when i was younger. but i still have them. all the time. except mine are usually me saying something i shouldn't.

i most certainly won't have it all together when i'm a grown up. one of my best friends is married with a toddler and often says
"oh yeah, i forget i'm an adult all the time."
i think it depends on perspective is what i'm taking a billion words to say..

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