Hi everyone!

Has anyone seen Night at the Museum? If you haven't great sadness, if you have, well, then you'll understand my post :).

Starring in this remarkable movie is Amelia Earhart (played by Amy Adams). Throughout the whole movie her goal is to teach Larry that life is meant to be lived not just frowned through, but really and truly lived...she called it 'moxy'. She once tells Larry that he's lost his moxy...

well, me too.

I've gotta get it back. Somebody told me that this was how to get it.

"My advice is WANT IT! Cuz right now you're accepting everything too blandly. And the most fun people are those who view all of life as fun and hilarious with a hint of cynicism. You can choose to have more fun, adjust your head accordingly and jump right in."

So, here goes, this has been my moxiness for today!

For starters, I did my workout. I meditated while I drove back home from the Y, thinking about how I can relearn to open up to God. It's so hard for me to comprehend, even though at once in my life it used to be like breathing. I need to learn how to have real emotions again. I will learn. I will try my hardest. I will accept the fact that I can't control life, that I need to completely depend on God, while completely giving my all in striving towards Him. Completely surrender while at the same time never stop fighting. Ah, life is full of oxymorons!

I stopped by Wegmans (of course!) cause I needed... COCONUT OIL! FOR... Deodorant! It turned out great!! :) really happy about that!


And then daddy was out in the garden, bringing in loads upon loads of cukes, corn, and other various veggies! So now we're selling cukes, made some salsa, and now figuring out what else other than corn we'll have for dinner!

God is good to me...even when I don't realize it, or when I can't seem to feel it.

"Undo" by rush of fools. Good song, God is speaking to me through it, and my mind knows it, but my heart is still...ignoring it. Words bounce off...emotions get choked.

Slowly I'll get to the point where I"m totally dependent on God...until then, God please forgive me for who I am...I still love you, I want you...

I love you...come find me. Bring me some moxy.

"bring me back to the place of forgiveness and grace...I need you and I need your help I can't do this myself, you're the only one who can undo what I've become"

With much love

~Delian Jayce