Wednesday, July 05, 2006





Sixteen... most people would consider that a cool age to be... but to me... since it's where God wants me to be that's where I'm supposed to be, whether I like it or not. Sixteen... I think that's the perfect age to simply cling to the cross... nothing else. I need to let go of my dreams, my plans, my wants and desires, let Christ have them and continue to live life satisfied with whatever He's got planned.
Yes, this is something I've been struggling with. Something that God has been trying to get my attention about for a long time. And through many different things going on in my life, He now has. But it's been difficult to keep growing... actually to grow at all.
My little brother who's just started crawling was in the livingroom this morning and I was watching him while doing my devotions. He suddenly started crawling away but since I didn't want him in the next room because I wouldn't be able to see him I called out his name. He stopped, sat up and looked over at me... it was a sad look, as if in he wanted to come but wouldn't because he really did want to go on into that next room. About three times that happened, each time he got a little further away... sit up... look desperatly at me as if he really wanted to come but never started to actually move toward me... then he would begin crawling on.
Finally it kind of dawned on me that that's what it was like with me. I had for a long time wanted to grow in my spiritual life but it didn't seem like I was going anywhere. I never took that first step... all I had done was sit there and desperatly look on... then whenever I had the want to go my own way there was no second thoughts.
I need to make those steps. And only by God's grace though can that happen. I could use prayer... I'm humbled by that request because it shows exactly how much in need I am... but I do need it. Thanks everyone. By God's grace alone.

dell Posted by Picasa

25 comments:

als said...

wow dell, that was really great. very humble, i could learn.

joel sczebel said...

and a very cool picture as well.

Mattea K. said...

it is indeed very humbling..

nobody person said...

I want to know More about this Heaven place

nobody person said...

Dell if that is your name

Delian said...

Yes, Dell is my name (to a certain excent) Delian is my name... dell is my nickname. however that is not important ;).

What do you want to know? I'll tell you this... it's a place that you are made for... we weren't meant to be satisfied by this world and the things in it... so what are the other options?

Run the questions by me and I'll answer as best as I can ;).

Tai said...

It's really almost freaky how the things you go through I am/have too! When I turned 16 I felt the same way that you described, but I stubbornly held onto what I wanted for alot longer than I could have. It has also been more difficult for me than it "should", being the oldest of my friends - I mean I love all of my younger-than-me friends (who are way more mature than me), but sometimes I wish that I was able to be friends with those the same age as or older than me...but that, for some reason, has always been difficult for me... as you could probably tell, that is something I am still working through!

I'll pray 4 U if you pray 4 me! (Even if you don't...but if you did, that would be nice!)

Are you going cherry pickin' on Friday?


Thanks for being so focused on God - I almost always grow from reading your posts!

~ME

Tai said...

P.S. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I forgot to tell you that on Sunday (bad me).

Prov. 3:6

~ME

Tai said...

P.P.S ...for Jarred: For some reason, none of the computers I have access to will let me get on your blog! It just goes to load the page and then stops and only loads the top bar thing...unless you deleted it, which I wouldn't think you would...

~ME

Elizabeth said...

i think he did cause i can't get to it either

Delian said...

neither can he...

joel sczebel said...

so anyways....

Delian said...

do you have anything interesting to say??

damaris said...

great post dell.
it shows humility that you'd admit your struggle and the things God's telling you like that. keep chasing after godliness...

love ya.

joel sczebel said...

I never rarely have anything inɫɘrəsɨinɡ to say.

Delian said...

you usually have something random to say tho. I'll give you that.

joel sczebel said...

Everybody likes duck!

joel sczebel said...

You know what, no they don't.

Delian said...

i like duck duck goose... lol.

als said...

haha. go joe.

Delian said...

is it some inside joke?

joel sczebel said...

sort of.

synaptic cleft said...

canadian?

Delian said...

in your dreams

Anonymous said...

Happy B-BDay