Sixteen... most people would consider that a cool age to be... but to me... since it's where God wants me to be that's where I'm supposed to be, whether I like it or not. Sixteen... I think that's the perfect age to simply cling to the cross... nothing else. I need to let go of my dreams, my plans, my wants and desires, let Christ have them and continue to live life satisfied with whatever He's got planned.
Yes, this is something I've been struggling with. Something that God has been trying to get my attention about for a long time. And through many different things going on in my life, He now has. But it's been difficult to keep growing... actually to grow at all.
My little brother who's just started crawling was in the livingroom this morning and I was watching him while doing my devotions. He suddenly started crawling away but since I didn't want him in the next room because I wouldn't be able to see him I called out his name. He stopped, sat up and looked over at me... it was a sad look, as if in he wanted to come but wouldn't because he really did want to go on into that next room. About three times that happened, each time he got a little further away... sit up... look desperatly at me as if he really wanted to come but never started to actually move toward me... then he would begin crawling on.
Finally it kind of dawned on me that that's what it was like with me. I had for a long time wanted to grow in my spiritual life but it didn't seem like I was going anywhere. I never took that first step... all I had done was sit there and desperatly look on... then whenever I had the want to go my own way there was no second thoughts.
I need to make those steps. And only by God's grace though can that happen. I could use prayer... I'm humbled by that request because it shows exactly how much in need I am... but I do need it. Thanks everyone. By God's grace alone.

dell